“But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God … and righteousness and sanctification and redemption …” -I Corinthians 1:30
“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” -Galatians 2:20
“Everyone of us is shadowed by an illusory person: a false self … we are not very good at recognizing illusions, least of all the ones we cherish about ourselves.” -Thomas Merton, from New Seeds of Contemplation.

Attending a costume party can be pretty entertaining. People dressed in masks pretend they’re someone else for an entire evening. The whole time they’re in costume, they’re playing a role. The more convincing the outfit and the acting, the greater the illusion. And the fun.

However, eventually, the party’s over. Everyone goes home. Once there, they take off their costumes, look in the mirror, and again see themselves for who they are.

But who is that? Who is the REAL you?

The “costumes” and “masks” we put on daily (even unknowingly) also help us pretend to be someone else for a while. Maybe it’s to gain someone’s approval or to feel better about ourselves. And we live in this false identity daily, hoping others never see through the facade.

Ever been there?

If so, you know it’s exhausting. And eventually ends because it’s a lie.

There’s a better way: a life based on the REAL you. The person known and loved by God in your oneness and union with Him through Christ.

The false self

Richard Rohr, a Franciscan priest and author of “Falling Forward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life,” describes the false self as that false part of us that we hold on to, that we believe is who we are and project to others. It typically stems from false identities we’ve formed based on traumatic events, things our parents or others have told us, emotional hurts and wounds we’ve received, and the lies we’ve listened to from Satan and the world.

Messages such as:

“I’m not good enough.”
“I’m not worthy to be loved.”
“I’m not acceptable.”
“I’m not lovable.”
“I’m inferior.”
“I’m a failure.”
“I’m inadequate.”

The list can go on and on.

In his book “The Great Dance,” Baxter Kruger calls these the “I AM NOTs.” These false identities impact our ability to enjoy and love ourselves and our ability to love others. But this false self is just that; it’s FALSE. It’s not the TRUE you, the person God knows, loves and accepts unconditionally.

Your true self is not what your parents told you in anger or what other people said to hurt you. You’re not the failures or mistakes you’ve made in the past that may still haunt you.

These things can never truly identify you unless you let them.

The true you

To know the true you, you must first understand what God knows to be true of you in your oneness and union with Christ Jesus, His Son.

The apostle Paul wrote in Galatians 2:20, “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”

As the apostle Paul calls it, this false self, or flesh (I prefer to call it the ego, the “I” who’s trying to become something apart from God), died with Christ.
This “I” apart from Christ, no longer lives. We are now one in spirit with Christ, and He is one with our spirit (“But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.” 1 Corinthians 6:17).
We now live by the reality of this union in Christ – and His life in us – through the faithfulness of Christ Jesus. This is our true self.
We can live in this reality because Christ sacrificially loved us and freely gave Himself for us. Love is the thing that changes everything. Sacrificial love gives and never stops giving.

You can’t know yourself apart from Christ. When you see Him, it’s a mirror reflection of yourself. What is true of Him is true of you (“as He is, so are we in this world.” I John 4:17b).

Performance does not equal identity. Your union with Christ is your identity. God did that for you apart from anything you did, or even the ego’s faith attempts. This is the REAL you. And soul peace, soul rest, and soul quietness are yours in Christ’s finished work.

Removing the costumes and masks

Knowing this is one thing; it’s another to actually participate in and feel good about your true self in union with Christ.

How do you align your feelings with the truth about you?

I do the following, and I encourage you to do the same!

Acknowledge any false identities you believe about yourself. Write down all the I AM NOTs that may be causing you to live with a mask or a false bravado that keeps you from intimacy with God and others.
Now, write down all the I AM truths of your identity in Christ that nullify (forevermore!) the I AM NOTs. Our website’s HOMEPAGE has some great identity messages to help you with this. We also have a PDF of even more identity messages we’d love to send you for the asking. Just use our CONTACT page to request your copy.
Confess these I AM statements out loud each morning when you wake and each night before bed. Let them sink deep into your heart, mind, and soul.
Remind yourself that you are loved unconditionally, regardless of past failures or mistakes. God’s love isn’t for sale and can’t be earned by good behavior or performance.
Remember, behaviors don’t equal identity. Who you are is determined by your union with Christ. And God accomplished that apart from your help or self-efforts. That’s why it’s called grace!
Allow God to love you so you can begin to love yourself, the true you in Christ. Bask quietly in His love and adoration, like a new parent adoring their new child. That person is worth loving … and that’s YOU!

So, put away the costumes and masks. Your true self is one with Christ (I Corinthians 3:23). And, the Holy Spirit lives in you (Colossians 1:27) to lead and guide you into all truth and let the REAL you shine through!

That’s something to give thanks for, enjoy, and feel good about!

Get your free resource today

Abiding in Agape has created a free resource called Identity Messages in Ephesians. We believe you’ll find it an essential tool as you contemplate your true identity in Christ. Simply request your copy using our CONTACT page, and we’ll happily email it to you (it’s an easy-to-read PDF).