Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. -1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Unconditional love really exists in each of us. It is part of our deep inner being. It’s not so much an active emotion as a state of being. -Ram Dass
For years, I searched for something deeper—love that wasn’t conditional, love that didn’t have to be earned. Like many, I thought love came with expectations, which had to be proven through good behavior, meeting standards, or being enough. The more I chased after it, the emptier I felt. But then, I came face to face with a life-altering truth: God is love. Not just a loving being but the very essence of love itself.
Understanding this wasn’t just an intellectual revelation, it completely shifted my view of relationships, self-worth, and faith. It redefined how I saw God, how I saw myself, and how I treated those around me. Love was no longer something I had to strive for; it was something I had always been invited to receive.
When Life Takes an Unexpected Turn
I remember the moment my world changed. One day, everything felt normal. The next, I woke up with a strange tingling in my feet. It spread quickly—nerve pain, burning sensations, muscle weakness, and exhaustion I couldn't explain. Doctors ran tests, specialists gave theories, but no one could give me real answers. Fear gripped me.
What if I never recovered? What if I could no longer take care of my family? What if this was my new reality? The uncertainty was overwhelming, and I started questioning everything—including God.
In the silence of my suffering, I heard a question that stopped me in my tracks: “Do you believe that I am perfect love?”
At first, my honest answer was no. If God was love, why was I in pain? Why had my prayers gone unanswered? But as I wrestled with that question, a shift happened. What if love wasn’t defined by my circumstances? What if love had been there all along?
That moment wasn’t an instant healing, but it was the beginning of a transformation—one that changed how I understood God’s love forever.
How We See God Shapes Everything
Many of us believe in God, but our perception of Him is often shaped by our personal experiences. For years, I saw Him as distant, a strict observer waiting for me to prove myself. My relationship with Him was built on striving—trying to be good enough, trying to earn approval.
But I was wrong. God was never withholding love. He wasn’t standing back, keeping score. His love was constant, unwavering, and independent of my performance.
Once I realized this, everything changed. I stopped trying to achieve love and started receiving it.
The Trinity: Love in Its Purest Form
One of the most profound realizations I had was about the nature of the Trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Before the world was created, love already existed in perfect harmony between them. God didn’t create us because He needed us. He wasn’t lonely. He wasn’t incomplete. He created us from an overflow of love—so abundant that He wanted to share it with us.
This truth freed me from the lie that God’s love depended on my actions. He didn’t love me because of what I could offer. He loved me simply because love is who He is.
The Creation of Humanity: A Love Story
When God created humanity, He called us very good. That phrase stood out to me in a way it never had before. The Hebrew word towb means beautiful, excellent, delightful. From the very beginning, we were designed as an expression of God’s love, not as an afterthought, not as a project, but as something He delighted in.
This realization changed the way I saw myself. My worth wasn’t tied to my achievements, my failures, or my past. My worth was established the moment God called me His own.
Where It All Went Wrong: The Distortion of Love
If God’s love is so perfect, why do so many struggle to experience it? That was another question I wrestled with. The answer lies in the story of the Garden of Eden. When Adam and Eve believed the lie that they were lacking, that God was holding something back from them, they stepped away from perfect love.
Shame took over. Fear replaced trust. Instead of resting in love, humanity began searching for love in places it was never meant to be found.
Since then, people have tried to fill that void—chasing after relationships, success, validation, believing that love must be earned rather than freely received.
But God never changed. His love remained. And He set a plan in motion to restore what was lost.
Jesus: The Ultimate Expression of Love
God’s response to brokenness wasn’t to pull away. It wasn’t to wait for humanity to fix itself. His response was Jesus.
Jesus came to show us what love really looks like: love that gives, love that sacrifices, love that meets people exactly where they are. He didn’t come to set impossible standards; He came to reveal that we’re never excluded, never abandoned, never unloved.
For years, I struggled with feeling worthy of that love. But then I realized my worthiness was never the point. Jesus didn’t love me because I had earned it. He loved me because love is who He is. That truth shattered every lie I had believed about myself.
Living in the Reality of Love
Once I embraced this truth, everything shifted.
I stopped striving. No more living under the weight of “trying to be enough.”
Fear lost its grip. When I trusted in God’s love, anxiety and doubt lost their control.
My relationships changed. Experiencing unconditional love allowed me to extend it to others.
I found peace. Instead of questioning my worth, I rested in the truth that I was already deeply loved.
An Invitation to Experience Real Love
This isn’t just a theological discussion. It’s an invitation. An invitation to stop searching for love in things that will never satisfy and start resting in the love that has always been there.
So, I ask you, just as I had to ask myself:
Do you truly believe that God loves you, not just in theory, but personally?
Are there past wounds that have made it hard for you to trust that love?
What would change in your life if you stopped striving for love and simply received it?
God’s love isn’t a transaction. It’s not based on what you do or don’t do. It’s a gift—one that has always been yours.
The moment you embrace it, everything changes.
You are seen. You are known. You are loved.
See D. Scott Cook’s book Alignment of Authentic Love: Living Your Highest Life to learn more.